if you want to know why i’m traveling alone as of right now but not too miserable about it – by falloutgirl

(You have to play the song while you read the post, it’s a carefully curated experience)

 

i moved into a new house

someone already lived in this house

memories lined the walls

little ghosts of proximity

based focus, nostalgia confined

 

i cleaned this house

with a resolution of mind

convinced fully in the sheer fact

that what was

will never be again

 

because there are so much brighter ways

it doesn’t have to be me

it doesn’t have to be mine

just cut out the suffering and stupidity

how hard is that a thing to ask?

 

i scrubbed the floors

i took out the literal trash

i moved the things inside

to the places they were longing to be

i moved the home

i took the blow

 

and when he said

he’d been married twice before

and he didn’t want to tell me

because of how much magic

i’d shown the floor

 

i wept in anger and rage

that no longer had a target

how can i hate you

for loving the things you were meant to

and learning to live life the way it should be lived?

and when i forgave him the hurt

and he continued to fade

pulled to the promise of bright, shiny

toys and glory of innovation

i kissed his cheek and smiled

go get em tiger

if anything i am learning

there is always going to be houses to clean

and people to see

places to be

and songs to sing

 

the strength is in the journey

the weariness is in the long pause

waiting for reunion and communication

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waiting for the cycle to start

kickstart me again

i’ve got some friends

and we’re here to win

..

.

aggressively peaceful honesty is just a whole big ol mood right meow

bonus points if you scroll back up

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